Thoughts and Prayers
There have been a lot of memes going around making fun of the idea of sending "thoughts and prayers" as the result of a tragedy.
I can see why people are feeling frustrated when people thoughtlessly say they are sending thoughts and prayers. This is so often an empty response, said by reflex, but you know the person is going to go on with their day like nothing happened. Or, worse, they post it on social media as some form of personal validation.
It is especially frustrating when the person sending their "thoughts and prayers" has the power to do more about it, but only offers this empty little platitude.
I am guilty of this too. It is in fact such a common problem that I once heard the following advice--if you tell anyone that you're praying for them, pray right away. That way, even if you forget, you know you've prayed for them at least once.
But thoughts and prayers are not always empty actions.
There are times when I feel lonely, or when I am struggling through something, when it really does help to know someone is thinking of me with compassion, who knows that I am struggling, and who cares about what's happening.
It is certainly more than empty words if I know my friend is praying for me daily, or putting up post-it notes around their house to remind them to pray, or if they follow-up with me later to ask how I'm doing.
But it's more than just knowing that someone cares about me. I think that prayer actually works.
One of my heroes, Corrie ten Boom, writes in her autobiography how, when she was a kid, she knew that this one neighbourhood in her town, Haarlem, was the 'bad' neighbourhood. So in a somewhat naive childlike way, she started to pray for the people of that neighbourhood. Years passed, during which she grew up, hid Jews in her home, got caught by the Nazis and sent to Ravensbrück concentration camp, saw her sister get murdered, survived because she got released due to a clerical error, started a rehabilitation centre, and began traveling the world sharing her story. After her talks, people would come up to her and say that they were from Haarlem, too, and share their stories of how they had found God. When she asked them where in Haarlem they were from, time after time, they said they came from that neighbourhood that she had prayed for in her childhood.
The book of Acts in the Bible tells the story of how Peter escaped from jail through the power of prayer. Peter was in chains, sentenced to death. The Church could do nothing but pray, and pray earnestly is what they did. An angel appeared to Peter and woke him up, and the chains fell off his wrists. He followed the angel out of the prison, and the doors just opened in front of them. (Read the full story here.)
My pastor loves the story of this guy who started a prayer meeting in New York City. He's told it during sermons at least three times. This guy decided to start a lunchtime prayer meeting. The first half hour, no one came. But by the end of the first meeting, there were 6 people there. By the end of the third week, 40 people were coming. Six months later, ten thousand businessmen were gathering daily to pray, and a million people came to faith in Christ in the next two years. (Read the story here.)
What will be the result of the power of prayer for the victims of Hurricane Harvey, of terrorist attacks, or of the floods in southeast Asia? What will be the result for your friend who is struggling with mental illness, or going through a messy break-up, or going through an existential crisis?
I don't know. But I do know there's only one way to find out. So when you say you're sending "thoughts and prayers," make sure to actually send them! And not just once, but continue to do so!
But also, if you want people to take your "thoughts and prayers" seriously, you need to show them that they're more than just words. Stop and think about ways to put your money where your mouth is. This can mean volunteering time or money for large-scale events, but it could also mean spending time with a friend, or sending someone cookies, or writing them a note. It could mean changing how you act in the future to reduce the chances of tragedy hitting again.
I can see why people are feeling frustrated when people thoughtlessly say they are sending thoughts and prayers. This is so often an empty response, said by reflex, but you know the person is going to go on with their day like nothing happened. Or, worse, they post it on social media as some form of personal validation.
It is especially frustrating when the person sending their "thoughts and prayers" has the power to do more about it, but only offers this empty little platitude.
I am guilty of this too. It is in fact such a common problem that I once heard the following advice--if you tell anyone that you're praying for them, pray right away. That way, even if you forget, you know you've prayed for them at least once.
But thoughts and prayers are not always empty actions.
There are times when I feel lonely, or when I am struggling through something, when it really does help to know someone is thinking of me with compassion, who knows that I am struggling, and who cares about what's happening.
It is certainly more than empty words if I know my friend is praying for me daily, or putting up post-it notes around their house to remind them to pray, or if they follow-up with me later to ask how I'm doing.
But it's more than just knowing that someone cares about me. I think that prayer actually works.
One of my heroes, Corrie ten Boom, writes in her autobiography how, when she was a kid, she knew that this one neighbourhood in her town, Haarlem, was the 'bad' neighbourhood. So in a somewhat naive childlike way, she started to pray for the people of that neighbourhood. Years passed, during which she grew up, hid Jews in her home, got caught by the Nazis and sent to Ravensbrück concentration camp, saw her sister get murdered, survived because she got released due to a clerical error, started a rehabilitation centre, and began traveling the world sharing her story. After her talks, people would come up to her and say that they were from Haarlem, too, and share their stories of how they had found God. When she asked them where in Haarlem they were from, time after time, they said they came from that neighbourhood that she had prayed for in her childhood.
The book of Acts in the Bible tells the story of how Peter escaped from jail through the power of prayer. Peter was in chains, sentenced to death. The Church could do nothing but pray, and pray earnestly is what they did. An angel appeared to Peter and woke him up, and the chains fell off his wrists. He followed the angel out of the prison, and the doors just opened in front of them. (Read the full story here.)
My pastor loves the story of this guy who started a prayer meeting in New York City. He's told it during sermons at least three times. This guy decided to start a lunchtime prayer meeting. The first half hour, no one came. But by the end of the first meeting, there were 6 people there. By the end of the third week, 40 people were coming. Six months later, ten thousand businessmen were gathering daily to pray, and a million people came to faith in Christ in the next two years. (Read the story here.)
What will be the result of the power of prayer for the victims of Hurricane Harvey, of terrorist attacks, or of the floods in southeast Asia? What will be the result for your friend who is struggling with mental illness, or going through a messy break-up, or going through an existential crisis?
I don't know. But I do know there's only one way to find out. So when you say you're sending "thoughts and prayers," make sure to actually send them! And not just once, but continue to do so!
But also, if you want people to take your "thoughts and prayers" seriously, you need to show them that they're more than just words. Stop and think about ways to put your money where your mouth is. This can mean volunteering time or money for large-scale events, but it could also mean spending time with a friend, or sending someone cookies, or writing them a note. It could mean changing how you act in the future to reduce the chances of tragedy hitting again.
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