Dragging Feet
I have about a kajillion things to do before I leave on Thursday to present at a conference, and I am feeling utterly overwhelmed. I feel like I am on the verge of panic attack or something, my heart gripped in a vice. I want to get these things done. I need to get these things done. But I am also frozen, so frozen. It seems the harder a task, the bigger it is, the higher the stakes, the stricter the deadline, the more likely I am to end up in a procrastination loop. Like this one, writing my blog, with the threat of this conference hanging over my head.
I think that must be what Jesus felt like on the night before He died (except much stronger, of course):
Jesus knew exactly what was going to happen to Him. Earlier, He had said it was going to happen, on more than one occasion:
But can Jesus even be tempted? The Bible says He was:
"Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has ascended into heaven, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin. Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." (Hebrews 4: 14-16)
Looking back through the timeline of Jesus' ministry, there were several crucial turning points that led Him to Easter, and at these points, we can see Him dragging His feet a little bit.
When people came to report that one of his good friends, Lazarus, was sick and about to die, Jesus waited two days before going to see him. By the time he had got there, Lazarus had been dead for four days. Famously, Jesus raised him back to life. (Read the whole story in John 11.) But why did He delay? He says that it would be for God's glory to be displayed, but even if he hadn't waited, Lazarus would have been dead by the time He got there---does raising a man dead four days bring that much more glory to God than a man dead two days? But perhaps He knew that this one miracle would trigger the plot to kill Him:
"Therefore many of the Jews who had come to visit Mary, and had seen what Jesus did, believed in him. But some of them went to the Pharisees and told them what Jesus had done. Then the chief priests and the Pharisees called a meeting of the Sanhedrin. 'What are we accomplishing?' they asked. 'Here is this man performing many signs. If we let him go on like this, everyone will believe in him, and then the Romans will come and take away both our temple and our nation.' Then one of them, named Caiaphas, who was high priest that year, spoke up, 'You know nothing at all! You do not realize that it is better for you that one man die for the people than that the whole nation perish.' He did not say this on his own, but as high priest that year he prophesied that Jesus would die for the Jewish nation, and not only for that nation but also for the scattered children of God, to bring them together and make them one. So from that day on they plotted to take his life." (John 11: 45-53).
In this story, Jesus' reluctance is perhaps a bit ambiguous. But I think His reluctance is even clearer when He performed His first miracle---when He changed water into wine at the wedding in Cana:
Of course, we know that Jesus went on to turn the water into wine anyhow. (Read the full story in John 2.) But why His initial reluctance? I think it's because it was this miracle which kicked off His public ministry, which ultimately led to His death. I think when He resisted His mother's suggestion to help, He was really thinking about how this act would set off a chain of events that will end with her weeping over His dead body. The wording at Cana is certainly echoed on the cross:
"Near the cross of Jesus stood his mother, his mother’s sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene. When Jesus saw his mother there, and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to her, 'Woman, here is your son,' and to the disciple, 'Here is your mother.' From that time on, this disciple took her into his home." (John 19: 25-27)
But I think the remarkable thing here is not that Jesus was reluctant, not that He dragged His feet a little, but that He did it. Knowing full well what was going to happen, Jesus followed through. Not on a whim, but for three years He stayed the course that led to His death. It was not easy, but still He did it.
"You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." (Romans 5: 6-8)
So what shall I do about this? Well, for one, I think I will stop procrastinating and get back to work. But more than my day-to-day goals of this conference or that errand, I will press on toward an eternal goal that far outweighs them all.
"But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith. I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead. Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 3:7-14)
I think that must be what Jesus felt like on the night before He died (except much stronger, of course):
"Then Jesus went with his disciples to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to them, 'Sit here while I go over there and pray.' He took Peter and the two sons of Zebedee along with him, and he began to be sorrowful and troubled. Then he said to them, 'My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.' Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, 'My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.' Then he returned to his disciples and found them sleeping. 'Couldn’t you men keep watch with me for one hour?' he asked Peter. 'Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.' He went away a second time and prayed, 'My Father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done.'" (Matthew 26:36-42)
Jesus knew exactly what was going to happen to Him. Earlier, He had said it was going to happen, on more than one occasion:
"He then began to teach them that the Son of Man must suffer many things and be rejected by the elders, the chief priests and the teachers of the law, and that he must be killed and after three days rise again. He spoke plainly about this, and Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him. But when Jesus turned and looked at his disciples, he rebuked Peter. 'Get behind me, Satan!' he said. 'You do not have in mind the concerns of God, but merely human concerns.'" (Mark 8:31-33)
Why did Jesus react so harshly to Peter? He called him Satan! I think it is because Jesus was tempted to abandon His call. We know from His prayers in the Garden of Gethsemane, which I quoted above, that He was struggling to face what was to come.But can Jesus even be tempted? The Bible says He was:
"Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has ascended into heaven, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin. Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." (Hebrews 4: 14-16)
Looking back through the timeline of Jesus' ministry, there were several crucial turning points that led Him to Easter, and at these points, we can see Him dragging His feet a little bit.
When people came to report that one of his good friends, Lazarus, was sick and about to die, Jesus waited two days before going to see him. By the time he had got there, Lazarus had been dead for four days. Famously, Jesus raised him back to life. (Read the whole story in John 11.) But why did He delay? He says that it would be for God's glory to be displayed, but even if he hadn't waited, Lazarus would have been dead by the time He got there---does raising a man dead four days bring that much more glory to God than a man dead two days? But perhaps He knew that this one miracle would trigger the plot to kill Him:
"Therefore many of the Jews who had come to visit Mary, and had seen what Jesus did, believed in him. But some of them went to the Pharisees and told them what Jesus had done. Then the chief priests and the Pharisees called a meeting of the Sanhedrin. 'What are we accomplishing?' they asked. 'Here is this man performing many signs. If we let him go on like this, everyone will believe in him, and then the Romans will come and take away both our temple and our nation.' Then one of them, named Caiaphas, who was high priest that year, spoke up, 'You know nothing at all! You do not realize that it is better for you that one man die for the people than that the whole nation perish.' He did not say this on his own, but as high priest that year he prophesied that Jesus would die for the Jewish nation, and not only for that nation but also for the scattered children of God, to bring them together and make them one. So from that day on they plotted to take his life." (John 11: 45-53).
"On the third day a wedding took place at Cana in Galilee. Jesus’ mother was there, and Jesus and his disciples had also been invited to the wedding. When the wine was gone, Jesus’ mother said to him, 'They have no more wine.'
'Woman, why do you involve me?' Jesus replied. 'My hour has not yet come.'" (John 2: 1-4)
Of course, we know that Jesus went on to turn the water into wine anyhow. (Read the full story in John 2.) But why His initial reluctance? I think it's because it was this miracle which kicked off His public ministry, which ultimately led to His death. I think when He resisted His mother's suggestion to help, He was really thinking about how this act would set off a chain of events that will end with her weeping over His dead body. The wording at Cana is certainly echoed on the cross:
"Near the cross of Jesus stood his mother, his mother’s sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene. When Jesus saw his mother there, and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to her, 'Woman, here is your son,' and to the disciple, 'Here is your mother.' From that time on, this disciple took her into his home." (John 19: 25-27)
But I think the remarkable thing here is not that Jesus was reluctant, not that He dragged His feet a little, but that He did it. Knowing full well what was going to happen, Jesus followed through. Not on a whim, but for three years He stayed the course that led to His death. It was not easy, but still He did it.
"You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." (Romans 5: 6-8)
So what shall I do about this? Well, for one, I think I will stop procrastinating and get back to work. But more than my day-to-day goals of this conference or that errand, I will press on toward an eternal goal that far outweighs them all.
"But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith. I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead. Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 3:7-14)
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