A Living Psalm
So a few nights ago, I'm lying in my bed, doing my nightly reading in the prayer book called Seeking God's Face that my lovely friend Jess gave me in December, before going to sleep.
Every day, it starts out with a Bible verse, and then a moment of quiet. I usually try to have that be a moment of listening to God. But I'm not so good at the quiet time. When I was jetlagged a couple of weeks ago, I kept falling asleep. I'd wake up fifteen minutes later and do the next part. So then I started making a rule that I had to read sitting up, but I would invariably get cold, and snuggle under the blankets.
This time, though, jetlag was not the problem. It was my imagination. Before long, I was imagining my next encounter with a person who had recently hurt me, and how I would react. The imagined scenario got more and more elaborate, my reaction more and more angry.
All of a sudden, I was sobbing. Full, body-shaking sobs.
And just as a sudden as the sobs hit me, a few minutes later, a sense of peace descended on me.
I begun praying, and as I rested the leather cover of the book against my forehead, I knew---I knew---that the passage of Scripture that was to come next would comfort me. And it did:
And then:
"This is what the Lord says—
he who made a way through the sea,
a path through the mighty waters,
who drew out the chariots and horses,
the army and reinforcements together,
and they lay there, never to rise again,
extinguished, snuffed out like a wick:
'Forget the former things;
do not dwell on the past.
See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness
and streams in the wasteland.
The wild animals honor me,
the jackals and the owls,
because I provide water in the wilderness
and streams in the wasteland,
to give drink to my people, my chosen,
the people I formed for myself
that they may proclaim my praise.'" (Isaiah 43: 16-21)
It reminded me of so many of David's Psalms, where he starts out angry and all 'destroy my enemies,' but ends up praising God (for example, Psalm 12, 35, 52, and 109).
I'd never gone from so upset to such peace in such a short time and I am certain God intervened. I have a lot to work through and process as I move on from this and forgive, but I am glad I have an open line of communication with God through it all.
Every day, it starts out with a Bible verse, and then a moment of quiet. I usually try to have that be a moment of listening to God. But I'm not so good at the quiet time. When I was jetlagged a couple of weeks ago, I kept falling asleep. I'd wake up fifteen minutes later and do the next part. So then I started making a rule that I had to read sitting up, but I would invariably get cold, and snuggle under the blankets.
This time, though, jetlag was not the problem. It was my imagination. Before long, I was imagining my next encounter with a person who had recently hurt me, and how I would react. The imagined scenario got more and more elaborate, my reaction more and more angry.
All of a sudden, I was sobbing. Full, body-shaking sobs.
And just as a sudden as the sobs hit me, a few minutes later, a sense of peace descended on me.
I begun praying, and as I rested the leather cover of the book against my forehead, I knew---I knew---that the passage of Scripture that was to come next would comfort me. And it did:
"Hear my voice when I call, Lord;
be merciful to me and answer me.
My heart says of you, “Seek his face!”
Your face, Lord, I will seek.
Do not hide your face from me,
do not turn your servant away in anger;
you have been my helper.
Do not reject me or forsake me,
God my Savior.
Though my father and mother forsake me,
the Lord will receive me.
Teach me your way, Lord;
lead me in a straight path
because of my oppressors.
Do not turn me over to the desire of my foes,
for false witnesses rise up against me,
spouting malicious accusations.
I remain confident of this:
I will see the goodness of the Lord
in the land of the living.
be merciful to me and answer me.
My heart says of you, “Seek his face!”
Your face, Lord, I will seek.
Do not hide your face from me,
do not turn your servant away in anger;
you have been my helper.
Do not reject me or forsake me,
God my Savior.
Though my father and mother forsake me,
the Lord will receive me.
Teach me your way, Lord;
lead me in a straight path
because of my oppressors.
Do not turn me over to the desire of my foes,
for false witnesses rise up against me,
spouting malicious accusations.
I remain confident of this:
I will see the goodness of the Lord
in the land of the living.
Wait for the Lord;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the Lord." (Psalm 27: 7-14)
be strong and take heart
and wait for the Lord." (Psalm 27: 7-14)
"This is what the Lord says—
he who made a way through the sea,
a path through the mighty waters,
who drew out the chariots and horses,
the army and reinforcements together,
and they lay there, never to rise again,
extinguished, snuffed out like a wick:
'Forget the former things;
do not dwell on the past.
See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness
and streams in the wasteland.
The wild animals honor me,
the jackals and the owls,
because I provide water in the wilderness
and streams in the wasteland,
to give drink to my people, my chosen,
the people I formed for myself
that they may proclaim my praise.'" (Isaiah 43: 16-21)
It reminded me of so many of David's Psalms, where he starts out angry and all 'destroy my enemies,' but ends up praising God (for example, Psalm 12, 35, 52, and 109).
I'd never gone from so upset to such peace in such a short time and I am certain God intervened. I have a lot to work through and process as I move on from this and forgive, but I am glad I have an open line of communication with God through it all.
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