God, get me out of here!
I recently read a post on a parenting blog where the author suggested a "through the tunnel" approach to hard times.
They told the story of how their child left their favourite stuffed toy behind somewhere, and when bedtime came and the child realized their toy was missing, the kid lost it. He cried and screamed and wailed. It's natural to want to calm such a child down--to suggest sleeping with another toy, to bribe them with reading an extra bedtime story, even to drive back and retrieve the toy. But this author suggested something else. They sat with the child, holding them, letting them cry it out. They acknowledged the child's distress, and let the child work through it. After a little while, the child calmed down and began suggesting their own solutions--maybe I could sleep with these two other toys, they said, and could I have an extra bedtime story?
The author talked about how we shouldn't teach our kids not to avoid pain, but to work through it.
I think they're right.
It may be tempting for parents to solve all of their children's problems, but there will come a time when there is a problem that can't be solved.
I don't want my future hypothetical children to have an easy ride, with everything laid out for them. I want them to learn how to take what they've got and make it work. I want them to learn to set challenging goals for themselves and go out and achieve them, to take risks, and to be able to deal with fall-out when their risks don't pan out. I want them to know that they have what it takes to face life head on, both the ups and downs, and make it through.
But if that's what I want for my kids, then why would I not want it for myself?
When we are struggling through a difficult time, it is so easy to wish for it to end, to ask God to rescue us from it. But maybe that's not actually the best choice.
"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." (James 1: 2-4)
I've heard people jokingly warn, "Don't ask God to give you patience, because then God will give you an opportunity to practice being patient." It's one of those sayings that are funny because they are true. And it's true not just for patience, but for every character quality.
Do you ask God to help you be more joyful? Then God will give you opportunity to practice joy in difficult times.
Do you ask God to help you be more hopeful? Then God will give you opportunity to look for hope in the hopeless.
Do you ask God to help you be more loving? Then God will place in your life people who are difficult to love.
And so on.
There is a false teaching out there called the prosperity gospel. Basically, it's the teaching that says, God wants you to have it all. If you just ask Him, He will give you everything you want. If you have enough faith, He will make you rich.
It is an easy lie to believe because it seems like it makes sense. If God is all-loving and all-powerful, then wouldn't He want me to be happy? And wouldn't He have the power to make me happy?
And He does. But God sees the long game. He doesn't just want us to be happy, He wants us to be holy, as well. And He knows that the kind of happiness that comes from your outside circumstances is shallow and short-lived.
Instead, He wants us to be filled with the joy of knowing that God is with us, loves us, and is on our side, through thick and thin, and filled with the deep peace that comes with knowing that God is in control through all circumstances.
"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 4: 4-7)
They told the story of how their child left their favourite stuffed toy behind somewhere, and when bedtime came and the child realized their toy was missing, the kid lost it. He cried and screamed and wailed. It's natural to want to calm such a child down--to suggest sleeping with another toy, to bribe them with reading an extra bedtime story, even to drive back and retrieve the toy. But this author suggested something else. They sat with the child, holding them, letting them cry it out. They acknowledged the child's distress, and let the child work through it. After a little while, the child calmed down and began suggesting their own solutions--maybe I could sleep with these two other toys, they said, and could I have an extra bedtime story?
The author talked about how we shouldn't teach our kids not to avoid pain, but to work through it.
I think they're right.
It may be tempting for parents to solve all of their children's problems, but there will come a time when there is a problem that can't be solved.
I don't want my future hypothetical children to have an easy ride, with everything laid out for them. I want them to learn how to take what they've got and make it work. I want them to learn to set challenging goals for themselves and go out and achieve them, to take risks, and to be able to deal with fall-out when their risks don't pan out. I want them to know that they have what it takes to face life head on, both the ups and downs, and make it through.
But if that's what I want for my kids, then why would I not want it for myself?
When we are struggling through a difficult time, it is so easy to wish for it to end, to ask God to rescue us from it. But maybe that's not actually the best choice.
"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." (James 1: 2-4)
I've heard people jokingly warn, "Don't ask God to give you patience, because then God will give you an opportunity to practice being patient." It's one of those sayings that are funny because they are true. And it's true not just for patience, but for every character quality.
Do you ask God to help you be more joyful? Then God will give you opportunity to practice joy in difficult times.
Do you ask God to help you be more hopeful? Then God will give you opportunity to look for hope in the hopeless.
Do you ask God to help you be more loving? Then God will place in your life people who are difficult to love.
And so on.
There is a false teaching out there called the prosperity gospel. Basically, it's the teaching that says, God wants you to have it all. If you just ask Him, He will give you everything you want. If you have enough faith, He will make you rich.
It is an easy lie to believe because it seems like it makes sense. If God is all-loving and all-powerful, then wouldn't He want me to be happy? And wouldn't He have the power to make me happy?
And He does. But God sees the long game. He doesn't just want us to be happy, He wants us to be holy, as well. And He knows that the kind of happiness that comes from your outside circumstances is shallow and short-lived.
Instead, He wants us to be filled with the joy of knowing that God is with us, loves us, and is on our side, through thick and thin, and filled with the deep peace that comes with knowing that God is in control through all circumstances.
"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 4: 4-7)
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